ArticleKeeping Holiness in Christian Dating Relationship

Maintain chastity when dating - globally, the fabric of society has changed a lot. Open minded is often voiced by the younger generation. Many feel that so far, humans have lived in a society that is too toxic. Many young people think that society interferes too much in one’s personal life.

But on the pretext, being an open-minded human being, it feels like now it’s starting to go too far. Irregularities and violations seem to be normalized, so many people do the same thing.

Life with the development of science and technology also affects more or less. The mass media often displays inappropriate things. From the past until now, having an interest in the opposite sex was normal.

Being in a relationship also feels natural. However, people who are dating sometimes forget that there is a limit to the extent to which he can be intimate with his partner. The intimacy that is often shown on social media indirectly influences other people to do the same.

Courtship styles that are too intimate can encourage premarital sex, a sexual activity carried out without marriage ties. This behavior is the result of biological development that encourages sexual desire.

So should humans not be allowed to date? Certainly not. As previously said, dating a member of the opposite sex is normal. But it’s good to understand in advance what courtship is, the boundaries of dating, and the importance of maintaining chastity.

What is Dating?

Young people are often misunderstood about the essence of having a romantic relationship or better known as dating. Basically, courtship is a period of serious exploration between one man and one woman.

Where the purpose of this courtship is to find out whether later they can live together in marriage. The meaning and purpose of dating should be realized by both parties who are dating. Quoting a sentence written by Pdt. Dr. Paul Gunadi, in his book entitled, seeing compatibility in dating that dating is a period that has specific goals.

Dating is not just for encouragement and loneliness filler. Not for the gratification of lust. Not to try or satisfy curiosity. Not a solution to economic problems. But more than that, a time to find out if we and our partners are compatible to take the relationship to a more serious level.

In courtship, physical intimacy should be the last straw. Intimacy that must be prioritized is emotional intimacy, for example personality, compatibility, understanding, and understanding of one another.

Sexual intimacy must take place at the time of marriage. If the priorities are reversed, it can cause big problems in the future.

Why Should you Maintain Chastity During Dating?

Not without reason, sexual intimacy when dating can give birth to some negative feelings such as:

Guilty Feeling

Moral values certainly prohibit humans from having premarital sex. If you do, you will definitely feel guilty. But the worst thing is feeling guilty, and can’t escape from that bondage. The more you feel guilty, the more you feel powerless against temptation and end up doing it continuously.

Anxiety

It is commonly experienced by women, because they are worried about pregnancy. So far, the use of contraceptives is not an absolute guarantee of a safe sexual relationship.

Fear

In this case, women seem to be the most disadvantaged party. After giving away his body, the fear of abandonment must have haunted him. Sexual intercourse is not merely a physical activity, but an intimate and meaningful surrender of life.

Anger or Hate

Another common reaction is anger or hatred. This feeling arises because of the awareness that this relationship is not holy. Awareness that the relationship is only based on lust alone. There is no other attraction, apart from sexual attraction.

For this reason, it is very important for anyone to maintain holiness in courtship. It will be very good if the relationship has the right foundation, is rooted in faith, and pursues God’s approval.

The Bible does not specifically discuss courtship. But as a guide in the life of believers, the Bible certainly teaches principles of teaching about relationships, including romantic relationships. In 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 it is written that believers are called to glorify God and abstain from fornication.

It is also said that believers should live in sanctification and honor, not in lustful desires. Because such acts are made by people who do not know God.

To maintain holiness in dating, it is very important to maintain and set boundaries. These boundaries must refer to Biblical principles.

Setting boundaries that discourage sexual activity and preserve chastity is important. This is a form of respect for God’s plan in a relationship. Boundaries do not have to be fixed on the physical, but also emotional and spiritual.

In the end, as it is written, God called us not to do what is unclean, but what is holy (1 Thess 4:7). Of course not an easy thing. But with the wisdom given by God, believers are enabled and guided about what is right and what is wrong.

In all areas of life, including romantic relationships, believers are driven to seek and conform to God’s will. Involve God in every relationship that is built. Asking for God’s help and guidance, so that the relationship that is forged is always in holiness and pleases God.

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